


Of Legends and Vikings (Celebrate HTTYD Day 4)

by amethystviolist



Series: Celebrate HTTYD Challenge Week [4]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, F/M, it's pretty funny, this is almost crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:32:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amethystviolist/pseuds/amethystviolist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a vampire brutally murders Astrid's mother, she's ready to get her rightful revenge. She breaks into the nest and fights her way inside... Only to find out halfway through her angry threatening that she's in the wrong room. Then again, maybe it's good she sort of became friends with the weird 'vegan' vampire, considering he, you know, saves her life twice after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Legends and Vikings (Celebrate HTTYD Day 4)

**Author's Note:**

> BE SHOCKED BECAUSE... this one isn't done on time either. I give up.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment!

Hiccup was rudely awakened by his hand catching on fire.

Immediately awake, he yelped and rolled off his bed onto the floor out of the burning sunlight streaming in through the window. His hand was still smoking, but thanks to a freakishly good healing factor, the damaged skin was already repairing itself.

“Toothless, I thought we talked about knocking down the curtains!” Hiccup called. The black dragon didn’t answer, so Hiccup huffed and stood, careful to stay out of the patch of sunlight cheerfully covering part of his bed and trying to kill him. As soon as he straightened, something sharp landed against his chest, its pressure threateningly positioned over his sluggishly-beating heart, and Hiccup looked up in surprise.

A young woman met his gaze, her blue eyes fiery with rage and her blonde braid stained red at the tip. Her clothes were torn, and though she appeared to be injured on her right leg, she was putting weight on it determinedly. Overall, she was terrifying. And that was before counting the wooden stake in her hand.

“Oh, good morning,” she hissed venomously.

“You know, for nocturnal creatures, it’s actually like the middle of the night,” Hiccup complained, but her stake pressed a little harder into his chest and Hiccup took that as a hint to shut up.

“You are a monster,” the woman announced, her voice shaking with rage. “My mother is  _ dead _ because of you. Now are you so desperate to live your immortal life for just a few  _ days _ more that you’re willing to suck out the lifeblood of an innocent mortal woman and steal away  _ years _ of her life?”

The room was quiet except for the air conditioning, and Hiccup decided to play this as safely as possible.

“I’m sorry to hear about your mother,” he began carefully.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ speak about her! Don’t try to apologize to me now, it is too late for that,  _ Jorgenson _ ,” she snapped.

“Right,” Hiccup sighed. “About that… I think you’re in the wrong apartment.”

“Nice try,” the blonde woman snarled, digging the wooden stake in far enough that it punctured the skin. Hiccup winced in pain, and the stranger smiled cruelly. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am. And unlike you, I know how to make a  _ clean _ getaway from a  _ kill _ .”

“That is… kind of disturbing,” Hiccup replied truthfully, then hurried to add, “But great! Yeah, that’s good for you, I’m sure you are a very intelligent young woman, but you have made one small mistake.  _ You’re threatening the wrong vampire _ .”

“Are you insinuating that you’ll make sure your family avenges your sorry death?” the woman growled, and Hiccup wanted to bang his forehead into the wall.

“No!” he said more frustratedly. “You called me ‘Jorgenson’. If I’m guessing, you somehow managed to mistake me for my cousin Scott. How, I do not know, because we look about as similar as an apple and an- well, I would say orange, but that’s not different enough. Maybe a carrot?”

“Enough talking!” the woman snarled, and Hiccup reluctantly obeyed. “I’m here for revenge in my mother’s name. No amount of your ‘charm’ or ‘sway’ or whatever you want to call it is going to work on me.” She held up a necklace with a green pendent, some weird symbols carved into its teardrop shape.

“Is that a magic charm or something?” Hiccup asked cluelessly.

“It was my mother’s!” the blonde exclaimed furiously. “Which you should remember, since I’m sure you noticed it as you  _ ripped into her neck _ .” 

At that grisly image, Hiccup grimaced, and the woman eagerly latched onto the expression.

“So you admit you do remember?” she demanded.

“ _ No _ ,” Hiccup insisted. “I don’t kill humans! I’m- well, basically I’m the vampire version of a vegan.”

“You’re… what?” For the first time, the woman seemed confused. She blinked a few times, trying to process the words.

“I don’t drink blood,” Hiccup explained patiently. “Not from live or dead animals, not from human donations, and certainly not from living humans.”

The woman seemed skeptical.

“So… what  _ do _ you drink to live?” she asked warily.

“The souls of people who wake me up by setting me on fire,” Hiccup deadpanned. The woman’s eyes widened and Hiccup quickly held up his hands in surrender. “Kidding! Bad joke, sorry. Not a good time. I, uh, I drink coconut water.”

“Coconut water,” the stranger repeated skeptically.

“Yep,” Hiccup nodded. “If you look over there in my mini-fridge that’s all you’ll find. Well, and some yogurt. It’s nice for a change of flavor.” The fierce blonde studied him for a moment, as if sizing him up.

“I’ll look,” the woman said finally, “But you’re not going anywhere.”

“Okay,” Hiccup agreed. “Fine by me, I just want to go back to sleep anyway, so just- woah!” The woman yanked Hiccup’s shirt and half-dragged him across the room with her, keeping the wooden stake pinned firmly to his chest the whole way. 

“Hey, hang on,” Hiccup tried to say, but the woman kept going. In as loud a whisper as he dared, Hiccup continued, “Uh, miss? Miss, I think we need to stop here while I explain this one tiny thing I forgot to warn you about before-”

“Save the excuses, leech,” she ordered firmly and Hiccup squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that she hadn’t been too loud…

Nope. Hiccup’s bad luck continued.

With a roar, Toothless leapt out of the other bedroom and tackled the young woman to the ground, sending the wooden stake spinning off somewhere under the kitchen table.

“Toothless!” Hiccup cried, and ran to the dragon, stroking his neck and trying to get him to  _ not blast the poor human into a pile of ash _ . “Toothless, it’s okay! It’s okay,” he added to the woman, who was clearly hyperventilating. After a long moment, Hiccup managed to talk Toothless into stepping away from the stranger, and the girl stood on unsteady legs.

“What  _ is _ that thing?” she hissed, looking around for her weapon while still managing to keep a wary eye on the two of them.

“Uh, well… This is Toothless. He’s my best friend. And he also happens to be a dragon.” Hiccup kept a hand on Toothless’s neck, but other than snarling at the blonde woman, Toothless made no move to attack again.

“You vampires are all completely insane,” the stranger declared. “Do- Do you all just have dragons hanging out in your apartments?”

“No! No, no, nothing like that,” Hiccup reassured her. “And if it wasn’t for my father’s wealth, then I wouldn’t be able to fit Toothless in here, anyway. No one else… actually… knows about him…” Hiccup trailed off, and Toothless glanced back at Hiccup as if to check on him, even if his teeth were still bared in a snarl.

“And…  _ why _ do you have a dragon?” the woman demanded. “Is he like a tiger, where you wanted an exotic pet? Dragons kill people, you know, and not just humans!”

“They don’t try to,” Hiccup argued. “They’re really just defending themselves. They’re beautiful, gentle creatures-”

Toothless interrupted with an angry snarl.

“...who also try to ruin my life,” Hiccup ended flatly, and sighed. There must be something he could do to get Toothless to leave the human alone long enough to help her escape from the building alive... After a moment of thought, he stepped between the dragon and the young woman, then grabbed the human’s hand.

“Hey!” she yelped, the fear plain in her voice. “Let go! What are you-!”

“Shhh!” Hiccup shushed her, then faced Toothless again as he guided her hand closer to Toothless’s nostrils. “It’s okay. It’s all okay.” 

Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he was reassuring the human, the dragon, or himself.

“It’s okay,” he said again. Toothless shifted his weight, his wings flaring, and the woman gasped a little, trying to move her hand away. Hiccup kept a firm hold of her wrist, gently guiding her palm to the dragon’s snout.

“We’re showing him that you trust him,” Hiccup explained in a low voice.

“ _ I do not trust it! _ ” the stranger hissed back.

“And we’re showing you that he trusts you,” Hiccup continued as if she had never spoken. “Dragons are all about trust, just like any other friendship. Just try to relax your arm. Toothless won’t hurt you.”

“He definitely has teeth,” the woman muttered, but she stepped forward slightly and stopped trying to tug her wrist away. When her hand was hovering an inch from Tooth;ess’s scales, Hiccup let go and stepped back a little. The human woman and the black dragon stared each other down for a moment, both uncertain of the other’s intentions. 

“Close your eyes,” Hiccup suggested. The woman and the dragon both took a deep breath and did so, and after a very tense moment, Toothless bumped his snout against the stranger’s hand. She gasped and turned to look, but Toothless was already drawing back, angrily bristling the ridges along his spine and using his tail to lightly whack Hiccup over the head.

“It’s for your own good, you useless reptile,” Hiccup groused, and Toothless snorted in derision as he vanished back into the other bedroom. Rubbing his head, Hiccup looked back at the blonde woman, who was studying her hand as if it had somehow changed.

Hiccup cleared his throat to get her attention, and she immediately dropped her hand to her side. “Do you still want to look in the fridge?” he offered cautiously.

“Yeah, I do,” she shot back defiantly. “But you’re going to stay away from me.”

“Okay,” Hiccup agreed with a shrug. “I’ll go look for your stake. I think it’s under the table somewhere.” He walked to a safe distance away and knelt on the kitchen tiles, squinting as he looked for the stake. To his left, he could hear the human take a few wary steps to the fridge, then open it. The door stayed open for a few seconds while she looked, and when Hiccup heard it close again, he looked up. She was frowning, but she looked marginally less hostile.

“See?” he spoke up. “Coconut water. I did some tests, and apparently vampires survive off the electrolytes and nutrients found in blood, not necessarily blood itself. Coconut water has most of the same things, and if I take some extra vitamins with it, then I’m perfectly healthy. And not killing people.”

“How can I trust that you don’t just go out and find live meals when you’re hungry?” the woman demanded.

“If I did, you would probably be dead already,” Hiccup pointed out plainly. “Either by me fighting back, or by Toothless getting angry at you for threatening me. I have no interest in spreading death,” Hiccup finished firmly.

“...I believe you,” the blonde said at last, sounding bitter about it. “I wish I didn’t, but you’re no killer.” She glanced toward the front door and heaved a sigh. “I guess I really did get the wrong room.”

“I’m not going to help you kill Scott, as much of a brute as he is,” Hiccup told her, “But I can help you escape this building if you need-”

“I’m not working with a vampire,” she snapped immediately. Hiccup nodded.

“Alright. Then I think you’ll be wanting this.” He held out her stake blunt end first, and she snatched it back. But as the blonde woman turned toward the door, she paused, and suddenly looked back at Hiccup.

“Why are you helping me?” she asked him. “I’m on my way to kill your cousin. I nearly killed you. I threatened your life and I know about your secret dragon… Why are you letting me live?”

“I wasn’t always a vampire,” Hiccup answered quietly. “I have a human name, a human face… And I have human values and desires. Like making friends with humans instead of murdering them.”

“You’re a very strange person,” the blonde woman said finally, and Hiccup smiled at her.

“Funny, I heard the same thing as a human,” he joked.

“I think because you’re still human,” the stranger replied seriously. “At least, human in all the ways that matter.”

Hiccup found himself speechless, and his heart gave an involuntary extra beat.

“Anyway, sorry for bothering you,” the young woman said awkwardly, and reached for the doorknob.

“Wait!” Hiccup blurted, and she whirled. They stared silently at each other for a moment, and then Hiccup coughed a little as he broke the prolonged eye contact. “I, uh, I wanted to know your name. If.. if that’s okay. Just so I could, uh, maybe come to your mother’s funeral.” Hiccup carefully met her eyes again, and though her eyes were guarded, she wasn’t bolting out the door.

“...Astrid Hofferson,” the woman said quietly. “And my mother’s name is-  _ was _ \- Nessa Hofferson. The funeral details aren’t even arranged yet.”

“Then I’ll steal my dad’s paper for the next few days,” Hiccup shrugged. “I’ll be there. Unless it’s, you know, at noon, I really can’t do that.”

“It won’t be,” Astrid said with firm certainty, but didn’t offer an explanation as to why it wouldn’t be at noon, and Hiccup didn’t ask. Without a goodbye, Astrid turned the doorknob and vanished into the hallway, shutting the apartment door behind her with a final click. Hiccup stared blankly at the door for a second, then shook his head and went toward his bed.

Honestly, he must be going crazy. Humans and vampires being involved, whether as friends or as something more, just didn’t work out. Hiccup had learned that the hard way with a human named Heather two years ago. Sighing, he started to sit down on his bed, when his arm suddenly flared with pain. Hiccup jerked back, glaring at the patch of sunlight on his bed coming from the uncovered window. 

He really should have gotten Astrid to fix that before she left.

Resignedly, Hiccup walked away from his comfortable bed and toward Toothless’s room. The other bedroom didn’t actually have a bed, but a large stone slab instead, which Toothless blasted with fire to warm it up and then slept on comfortably. Hiccup would have preferred a bed, but when faced with slow fiery death or a pleasantly warm dragon, he’d take the dragon any day. He lifted Toothless’s wing, the dragon opening one eye and making a small crooning noise of acceptance, and Hiccup curled up next to the dragon’s side. In minutes, he was happily asleep once more.

And then Hiccup was rudely awakened (again), this time by a loud scream echoing through the building.

In a vampire-only apartment complex, this wasn’t completely out of the ordinary, and Hiccup usually just did his best to ignore it, or he turned up his music to block out the sounds of another human victim he couldn’t help. But this time, the scream was very close by, and more than that, it was somehow familiar…

Hiccup shot to his feet, making the dragon grumble at the disturbance, and ran for the front door as fast as he could. 

That had been Astrid’s scream. He was sure of it.

He flew into the hallway, his bare feet thumping the carpet as he ran in the direction of the commotion, which also happened to be in the direction of Scott’s room. Hiccup skidded to a stop in front of Scott’s door, and then knocked loudly.

“Get lost!” Scott yelled. “I’m already set for breakfast!”

“Scott, it’s me!” Hiccup called frantically. As he nervously waited for a reply, he hoped for the first time that Scott was using one of the human Feeders who volunteered or was paid to be a vampire’s buffet. Anything but draining that poor human woman who just lost her mother.

The door suddenly opened, and Hiccup found himself facing a very put-out Scott.

“What?” Scott snapped. “This better be important, Hiccup, you’ve interrupted my breakfast time. And not all of us are as weak-willed and patient as you.” Scott bared his fangs, and Hiccup noted with relief that they were still clean. 

“I, uh… I wanted to... join you?” Hiccup fabricated on the spot. Scott’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“You mean… You want to drink human blood?” Scott clarified.

“Yes! Yep, that is exactly what I mean,” Hiccup lied again, trying to look sincere. Scott gave him a glance up and down.

“You’ve  _ never _ drunk live blood,” he stated. 

“I know, right? I figured I’d… see what I’m missing out on,” Hiccup decided to say. He smiled back, making sure his fangs were out and visible.

“...Why now?” Scott asked suspiciously. Oh, Hiccup knew how to reply to that! He had spent years watching his father intimidate humans, and this wasn’t much different.

Hiccup leaned forward just enough to invade Scott’s personal space, then bared his fangs and hissed, “Why now? Because I’m  _ hungry _ now,  _ Snotlout _ Jorgenson, and I smell the fresh blood of a human in here- blood that you’re keeping me from. Now let me in before I let myself in.”

“My name is Scott,” the vampire tried to say with dignity, but he was clearly thrown by Hiccup’s unusually aggressive behavior. After another moment, Scott relented to Hiccup’s glare and opened the door wider. 

“Come in,” he said formally, and Hiccup went inside Scott’s apartment for the first time.

It was sparsely decorated, had a few empty blood bags strewn on the floor, and the kitchen looked like it hadn’t been touched in years. Overall, it was a fairly typical bachelor’s apartment. In one corner of the living room, however, old-fashioned chains were bolted to the wall, and locked in those chains was a blonde woman shaking with rage and fear, yanking on her bonds when Scott closed the door again. Hiccup was fairly certain that was not part of the ‘ordinary bachelor’ package.

At least she was still alive, despite some new cuts on her arms and face.

“I don’t usually share meals,” Scott said conversationally, strolling over toward Astrid. “But she broke into my apartment armed with a wooden stake, so she deserves a more painful death than most. I think she wanted to kill me, she was screaming about revenge and all this crap…” Scott chuckled. “Silly human. I just dodged her little pencil and grabbed my knife that I always carry on me. Wood’s not nearly as useful against us when it’s in splinters!” Scott laughed loudly, and Hiccup belatedly laughed with him.

“That’s amazing! What a great story,” Hiccup said with a smile. He suddenly dropped the grin off his face in seconds and snarled at Scott, “It was so funny that it made me hungrier.”

“Woah, okay!” Scott said, taking a physical step back. “Hiccup, you’re acting  _ really _ weird, are you sure you want to feed on a live human? Is it giving you some kind of a mental breakdown?”

“I feel fine,” Hiccup said coldly, trying to imitate the aloofness of Scott’s mother. He let a hesitant expression slip through, and then added, “Maybe I should try eating live blood without an audience first, though.”

“Why? What’s to be embarrassed about?” Scott asked blankly, and Hiccup tried to think quickly. He glanced at Astrid for any ideas. To his surprise, she was making some kind of weird motion with her hips and looking at him pointedly. He gave her a confused look, and of course Scott followed his gaze. Astrid immediately stopped the hip motion.

Swinging hips? Dancing hips? Injured hips? Hiccup ran through every explanation he could think of- and his face suddenly went red, which was a real feat for someone with the sluggish circulation system of a vampire.

“I want to have sex with her first,” Hiccup blurted. Both Scott and Astrid turned to look at him so fast he thought their necks would snap. 

“You want to  _ what _ ?” Scott yelped, and Astrid, though gagged, seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

So apparently that was  _ not _ what she had been trying to tell him to say.

“I, uh- You heard me!” Hiccup retorted, crossing his arms and glaring at Scott as best he could while blushing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Astrid rolling her eyes.

“She’s a  _ human _ ,” Scott replied in disbelief.

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious,” Hiccup said flatly.

“Don’t you think that’s… I don’t know,  _ weird _ ?” Scott asked, giving Hiccup another once-over. “Actually, you’ve been acting weird all morning. Did you drink a bad coconut?”

“I am perfectly level-headed,” Hiccup replied, trying to recover his dignity. “Just unlock her from the wall, and I’ll take her over to my place. You don’t have to do anything else for me.”

“You know what?” Scott said, leaning forward and jabbing a finger in Hiccup’s face, “No! She broke into  _ my _ apartment, and tried to kill  _ me _ , and I don’t care what’s going on with you, but I’m going to suck her dry  _ alone  _ and you can go f-” Scott was moving over toward Astrid with threatening purpose, and Hiccup had to intervene. He leapt in front of Scott, stretching to his full height and balling his fists.

“Don’t touch her!” Hiccup snarled. Scott looked momentarily intimidated, then laughed.

“Oh, please. You’re not a fighter, Hiccup! You live off  _ coconuts _ . Go bother someone else with your insanity, I’m actually hungry!” He pushed past Hiccup and grabbed Astrid’s shoulders, preparing to bite into her neck. Hiccup found some primal force tugging at him, and he yanked on Scott’s shoulder, forcing him to turn around. As soon as Scott was facing him, Hiccup drew back his fist and sent it flying as hard as he could into Scott’s face. The other vampire staggered back, Astrid looked impressed, and Hiccup’s hand was stinging. A lot.

“What is  _ wrong _ with you?” Scott shrieked. Hiccup grabbed a nearby key he had just noticed on the coffee table and stuck it into the locks on the chains, one by one freeing Astrid’s hands and legs. She immediately yanked off her gag and hurled the tiny piece of cloth at Scott.

“I wish I could kill you  _ twice _ !” she yelled. Scott snarled, but then he grimaced and held his bleeding nose.

“I think you broke it,” Scott moaned, looking a little like he was going to pass out.

“Good,” Hiccup said firmly, though he hoped he was doing the right thing. Astrid may just choose to kill him anyway after this, and he couldn’t exactly blame her. “Uh, say anything about the girl to anyone, and I’ll break it again.” The threat wasn’t entirely sincere, since Hiccup wasn’t sure he could do it again if he tried, but Scott looked at the floor frustratedly as if agreeing.

“She’s one human, Hiccup, why is she a big secret?” Scott said through gritted teeth.

“Because… Because I… have an image to maintain,” Hiccup replied uncertainly. He cleared his throat and elaborated with more confidence, “Everyone thinks I don’t drink blood. But I, uh, I totally do. This human was in my apartment already, but she must have escaped and gotten confused about the way out.”

“I did not get con-” Astrid started to protest, but Hiccup sent her a significant look, and she seemed to catch on to what he was doing. “Oh. Yeah,” she grumbled, entirely insincere. “I totally got lost escaping. Yep.”

“Why does it matter if everyone else knows you drain humans?” Scott demanded. “It’s not like it’s a problem for the rest of us!”

“I… Uh, remember what I said earlier?” Hiccup remembered suddenly, his cheeks heating up again. Scott squinted in confusion, then his eyes widened significantly, glancing between the two of them with horror. 

“Oh! Oh, uh, alright then, you go and… do her. Do that! You go do that. I won’t tell anyone on the condition that we  _ never speak of this again _ ,” Scott said, and scuttled into his bedroom, holding his injured nose.

“Do you-” Astrid began, but Hiccup quickly snapped a hand over her mouth.

“Quiet, you… human! Back to the chains for you!” he said loudly. He kept his hand over her mouth and somehow managed to get them both into the hallway and down into the safety of his own apartment without being seen by any other Feeders or vampire residents. As soon as he locked the door he let her go, and she turned on him with all the rage she possessed.

“How dare you!” Astrid snapped, and punched him in the shoulder. Hard.

“Ow!” Hiccup yelped, rubbing his shoulder, but Astrid hadn’t finished yet.

“That’s for being an idiot!” she yelled angrily.

“Well, I deserve that,” Hiccup muttered. “What  _ were _ you trying to tell me?”

“I was motioning for you to turn around and grab the  _ key _ , you pervert!” Astrid shouted.

“I’m sorry!” Hiccup cowered. “I just- I panicked!”

“You really did. You’re the  _ worst _ liar that I have ever seen. Jorgenson must be even more of an idiot than you!” Astrid turned and stomped further into the apartment before realizing she had nowhere to go. Toothless poked his head out of the second bedroom and made a questioning sort of growl.


End file.
